i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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