I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
