mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
