They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
