This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
