he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
