No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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