I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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