I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Randomize
