so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
