Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
