We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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