I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
