I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
