i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
