Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
