I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
