Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Farmville is her only friend.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
