So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
