talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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