To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
