I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
