I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
