Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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