we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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