finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Farmville is her only friend.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
