...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
