Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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