On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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