I just threw up on my dentist
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
