it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
