Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's rum buckets o'clock
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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