so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
