nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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