I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
