Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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