Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
They took my balls.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
