so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think I am morally bankrupt
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
