I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
