You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm at about main and main street
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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