you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Randomize
