It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
