I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
