Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
