he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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