Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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