I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
