So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
