some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
