hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
